"Tips on staying safe... for women"

The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

The three reasons women are easy targets for random acts of violence are:

1) Lack of Awareness - You MUST know where you are & what's going on around you.

2) Body Language - Keep your head up, swing your arms, stand straight up.

3) Wrong Place, Wrong Time - DON'T walk alone in an alley, or drive in a bad neighborhood at night.

Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage: Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor,and in the back seat. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars. This is a good reason to park away from big vans.

Look at the car parked on the drivers side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman towalk you backout. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (Better paranoid than dead.)

ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot.) Do not get on an elevator if there is a weirdo already on there. (Of course bad men don't always look bad.) Do not stand back in the corners of the elevator. Be near the front, by the doors, ready to get off or on. If you get on the elevator on the 25th floor, and the Boogie Man gets on the 22nd, get off when he gets on. Don't ride the elevator with him if you are not comfortable.

If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! Police only make 4 of 10 shots when they are in range of 3-9 feet. This is due to stress. The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good looking,well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Pat Malone told us the story of his daughter, who came out of the mall and was walking to her car when she noticed 2 older ladies in front of her. Then she saw a police car come towards her with officers who said hello. She also noticed that all 8 handicap spots in the area were empty. As she neared her car, she saw a man a few rows over calling to her for help. He wanted her to close his passenger side door. He was sitting in the driver's side, and said he was handicapped. He continued calling, until she turned and headed back to the mall, and then he began cursing at her. In the meantime, she wondered why he didn't ask the 2 older ladies, or the policeman for help, and why he was not parked in any of the empty handicap spots. As she got back to the mall, two male friends of hers were exiting, and as she told them the story, and turned to point at the car, the man was getting out of the back seat into the front, and the car sped away. DON'T GET CAUGHT IN THIS TRAP.

Tips to saving your life, if you have gotten into a violent situation:
REACT IMMEDIATELY - If he abducts you in a parking lot, and is taking you to an abandoned area, DON'T LET HIM GET YOU TO THAT AREA. If you are driving, react immediately in the situation, and crash your car while still going 5 mph. If he's driving, find the right time, and stick your fingers in his eyes. He must watch the road, so choose an unsuspecting time, and gouge him. It is your ONLY defense. While he is in shock, GET OUT. This sounds gross, but the alternative is worse if you do not act.

RESIST - Don't go along with him: Run, if you are able: DON'T EVER GIVE UP! You DO NOT want to get to a crime scene.

Always keep your distance when walking past strangers on the street or in dark areas.

GET A CELL PHONE: There are packages for $19.95 a month that allow you to program only 911 into the dialing out program. (This is an alternative for parents who say it is too expensive for their kids to have a cell phone.)

BREAK DOWNS: Make every effort to avoid this by ALWAYS keeping your carin good working order. If your car breaks down:

LOCK YOUR DOORS. You better have a cell phone to call for help. If you don't have a cell phone: (shame on you) keep a blanket, warm clothes, a pair of boots, and a flashlight in your car always, for emergencies.

If it's noon on a business day, you may want to put your hazards on and walk to safety. If it's 2 AM, put on your warm clothes, and walk to a lighted area. You are a perfect target if you are sitting in your car broken down. Predators search the highways for easy targets like you.

If you're on a desolate road: walk away from the car (in your warm clothes) and go to some bushes, or some area AWAY from your vehicles. It will be cold, and uncomfortable, but you DO NOT want to stay in your car, and there are no psycho bogeymen waiting in the bushes who knew you were going to break down there and then.

Physical defenses that we can use against the violent predator: The EYES are the most vulnerable part of the body. Poke him there HARD. It may be your only window of opportunity.

The neck is also a vulnerable spot, but you MUST know where to grip, AND HAVE THE STRENGTH to cut off his breath. Punch him in the throat to cut off his air supply.

The last place is the KNEES. Everyone's knees are very vulnerable, and a swift kick here will take anyone down. **** A cautionary note about these things. If you do not do these things right the first time, you are in trouble, because it will only anger the individual, and that anger will be TAKEN OUT ON YOU. I'm not saying don't attempt them, it may be your only hope, but be forceful when you do.

If you are walking alone in the dark (which you shouldn't be) and you find him following/chasing you: Scream "FIRE!" and not "help"; People don't want to get involved when people yell "help" but "fire" draws attention because people are nosy. RUN!

Find an obstacle, such as a parked car, and run around it, like Ring Around the Rosie. This may sound silly, but over the years, 5 women have told Pat Malone that this SAVED THEIR LIVES. Your last hope is getting under the car. Once you are under there, there are tons of things to hold onto, and he will not be able to get you out and will not come under for you (most likely). Usually they give up by this point. The catch here is that YOU MUST PRACTICE GETTING UNDER THE CAR. You must have a plan (he will have one); know if you will be going on your back, front, from the side or back of the car. It must be practiced.

Never let yourself or anyone that you know be the "closer" in any type of business (bar, store, restaurant, gas station). Pat knew Danielle, who was a girl that just died from being shot point blank by some kids while she was closing at the local gas station. He talked with her the night before she died, and asked whether it ever scared her to close alone. She said, "Yes, but I'll be allright, Pat. I'll be all right." She wasn't. Our world is not as safe as we pretend that it is, and living in our fantasy worlds WILL get us in trouble, sooner or later. Pat Malone said again and again that the women who die EVERY MINUTE from violent crimes expected to go to bed tonight, and get up tomorrow. No one expects it,but we must be prepared and aware so that we HAVE A PLAN. BE PREPARED TO ACT! AND ACT HARD! HAVE A PLAN!

I would encourage you to pass this on to all women, not just your friends and family, but everybody. We all need to hear it. For you and to share with your family, especially the women.

Tips on Hiring Drivers

1. Interview drivers thoroughly before you hire them. Make sure that they are reasonably familiar with the routes you'll be traveling and your town in general. This obviously requires that the blind traveler also have a good knowledge of routes.
2. Pay attention to the driving behavior of your drivers. Lots of horns blowing or sharp turns may indicate that you want to hunt another driver.
3. Try recruiting among college students. They have time, cars, and a great need for pocket change. They also like a challenge!!
4. Pay for drivers varies by location. Expect to pay anywhere from $6 to $10 per hour. If you pay at the higher end of this range, you may expect the driver to provide the gas (except on very long trips). Including the cost of gas in the per hour charge simplifies the bookkeeping end of the process. Tips are appropriate for good or extra service. A few dollars is a small price to pay for keeping a good driver happy.
5. If feasible, you may want to ask local law enforcement personnel about the driving record of the people that you want to hire. At the least, obtain the social security number, driver's license number, and full name and address of any one who drives you. You might also want to write down the name of the driver's insurance company.
6. Drivers hired for infrequent and personal use are hired informally, and written contracts/agreements usually are not required. Liability is usually not a topic mentioned by prospective drivers.
7. Make your expectations clear. For example, don't make a habit of allowing the driver to run his or her errands on your personal time, don't make a habit of buying your driver meals or snacks, and make clear to your driver whether you expect driving only or driving plus assistance (such as assistance in shopping). Pay drivers from the time they leave their house to the time they arrive back home. Give drivers adequate lead-time to schedule trips, and stick to the schedules and routes you've stated. Remember that drivers have other commitments too.
8. You may be able to obtain volunteer drivers via Americorps or churches/civic groups.
9. You may have to teach drivers basic sighted guide, and if drivers drop you at the curb you may have to teach them to give you directions for walking away from the car (e.g., "the door to the store is directly to your left" or "Take a line of travel off the front of the car on your side"). The position of the sidewalk/door/curb in relation to the car often is the best orientation information available.

Good Drivers: Top 10 Tips For Safer Driving

It seems as though everyone is in a rush these days. Whether you’re commuting to work, driving to school, running errands or picking up the kids, it seems there’s never enough time to get it all done. Take the following tips to make sure you get where you need to be safely.

1.Watch the weather
In any kind of stormy weather, the key to driving safely is to slow down. Here are some more tips:

• Fog: Avoid driving in fog, but if you must, set your headlights on dim (or low beam). If visibility becomes so poor that driving safely becomes impossible, pull as far off the road as you can and stop.
• Rain: Keep your windows from fogging up by using the defroster or air- conditioner (if necessary, open the window slightly). Turn your lights on, day or night.
• Snow or ice: Brake gently and early, turn cautiously, and increase your following distance. And be alert for changing road conditions (such as patches of ice or slippery snow).

2. Look both ways at intersections
Don't pull away from a sign or a light until you're sure other drivers are stopping or yielding. Wait a few seconds after a light turns green before proceeding to protect yourself against a driver running a red light.

3. Keep your distance
Drivers commonly tailgate because they underestimate how much stopping distance they really need. In general, under good weather conditions you need to keep three to four seconds of distance between you and another if you're going over 35 mph (at least two seconds if traveling less than 35 mph). To make sure you're traveling at a safe distance, select a landmark such as a tree or a sign. Then, as the car ahead of you passes this point, count "one thousand one, one thousand two." If you reach the landmark before you get to one thousand two, you're following too closely.

4. Get a grip
On the steering wheel, that is. Don't drive one-handed, because if you're hit unexpectedly, you might lose control of your vehicle. Place both hands in a comfortable position on opposite sides of the steering wheel. And look ahead to anticipate obstacles you may need to steer around.

5. Stay awake
Falling asleep at the wheel can occur at any time, but it's especially common late at night or early in the morning. If you find yourself getting sleepy at the wheel, try:

• Pulling over in a safe place and take a break until you feel more alert
• Lowering the temperature inside your car (open a window or turn on the air-conditioner)
• Sharing the driving with someone else, especially if you are on a long trip

6. Don't talk on the phone
People who talk on cell phones while driving are much more likely to have accidents as a result of distraction. If you must use your cell phone when you drive, usel a hands-free device. But if the conversation is complicated or emotional, pull off the road to a safe location to talk.

7. Use the breakdown lane only in a real emergency
Many tragic accidents occur when drivers are stopped in the breakdown lane and are hit by other vehicles. Don't stop in the breakdown lane to talk on your cell phone, to rest, or to eat. But in case of emergency:

• Pull off the road as far as possible.
• Make sure you are visible to other drivers by turning on the emergency flashers, setting up a warning triangle, and using flares or portable warning lights.
• Get help right away if you need it. Call a tow truck or the police on your cell phone, raise your hood or tie a white cloth on your mirror to signal for help, or put a sign in your back window.

8. Don't let the kids distract you
Drivers weaving on a highway might not be under the influence of alcohol. They might have kids in the back seat! Refuse to let your kids distract you when you drive. Have a plan to deal with arguments in the car. If they drop something, don't try to pick it up. If all else fails, pull off the road until things settle down.

9. Check your tires
When was the last time you inspected your tires? Accidents caused by tire failure are frequently preventable. Keep an inexpensive tire gauge in your vehicle and check your tire pressure every time you get gas (the manufacturer's recommended pressure is usually posted inside the door of your car or in your owner's manual). And inspect your tires regularly to spot cracks, bulging, worn spots, or shallow tread.

10. Wear your seat belt correctly
You may wear your seat belt regularly, but are you wearing it correctly? If not, it may not protect you in an accident. Fasten lap and shoulder belts snugly, wearing the lap belt on your hips, not on your stomach. And wear your seat belt even if your car has an air bag. The air bag won't protect you from being thrown around or out of the car in an accident.

10 Tips for Raising Children of Character

by Dr. Kevin Ryan


It is one of those essential facts of life that raising good children--children of character--demands time and attention. While having children may be “doing what comes naturally,” being a good parent is much more complicated. Here are ten tips to help your children build sturdy characters:
1. Put parenting first. This is hard to do in a world with so many competing demands. Good parents consciously plan and devote time to parenting. They make developing their children’s character their top priority.

2. Review how you spend the hours and days of your week. Think about the amount of time your children spend with you. Plan how you can weave your children into your social life and knit yourself into their lives.

3. Be a good example. Face it: human beings learn primarily through modeling. In fact, you can’t avoid being an example to your children, whether good or bad. Being a good example, then, is probably your most important job.
4. Develop an ear and an eye for what your children are absorbing. Children are like sponges. Much of what they take in has to do with moral values and character. Books, songs, TV, the Internet, and films are continually delivering messages—moral and immoral—to our children. As parents we must control the flow of ideas and images that are influencing our children.
5. Use the language of character. Children cannot develop a moral compass unless people around them use the clear, sharp language of right and wrong.
6. Punish with a loving heart. Today, punishment has a bad reputation. The results are guilt-ridden parents and self-indulgent, out-of-control children. Children need limits. They will ignore these limits on occasion. Reasonable punishment is one of the ways human beings have always learned. Children must understand what punishment is for and know that its source is parental love.
7. Learn to listen to your children. It is easy for us to tune out the talk of our children. One of the greatest things we can do for them is to take them seriously and set aside time to listen.
8. Get deeply involved in your child’s school life. School is the main event in the lives of our children. Their experience there is a mixed bag of triumphs and disappointments. How they deal with them will influence the course of their lives. Helping our children become good students is another name for helping them acquire strong character.
9. Make a big deal out of the family meal. One of the most dangerous trends in America is the dying of the family meal. The dinner table is not only a place of sustenance and family business but also a place for the teaching and passing on of our values. Manners and rules are subtly absorbed over the table. Family mealtime should communicate and sustain ideals that children will draw on throughout their lives.
10. Do not reduce character education to words alone. We gain virtue through practice. Parents should help children by promoting moral action through self-discipline, good work habits, kind and considerate behavior to others, and community service. The bottom line in character development is behavior--their behavior.

Some other authors that are good for this purpose are; Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Louise L. Hay, Gary Zukav, Shakiti Gawain, or any book of meditations, thoughts, or affirmations.

TIP TWO: Practice patience throughout your day. You will never be perfect at this, but try to catch yourself when you are being impatient. You might be in line at the grocery store or stuck in traffic, but when you feel you are losing your patience, try and get it back. Remind yourself, that these moments can be a time for reflection, in slowing down and being “in the moment”. Rather than getting sucked into the negative aspects of being impatient, choose to be patient. Just try it, even if it just works half the time, that’s half the time that you’re not letting yourself get all stressed out.

TIP THREE: At the end of your day, take a few minutes again, to read from your books of inspiration and hope. Also, start a journal on the things and people in your life that you are grateful for. These two things will help you end your day on a positive note.

These are just simple little tips, that can have enormous impact on your ability to cope and get through your day, and be the best mother you can be. So, give them a try, and remember; the most important thing about being a good mother, is to know when to put yourself first.

Reasons Why Intelligent Students Sometimes Fail

* Lack of motivation: Motivation is the key to success. It is what keeps you moving forward in spite of difficulties.
* Poor time management: Managing your time effectively is crucial as you attempt to balance multiple responsibilties, (i.e. school, work, leisure and family obligations). It is important not to become so overcommitted that you can't devote the necessary time to your studies.
* Lack of perseverance--giving up too easily: Learning a new skill or new subject is difficult and requires a commitment of time and mental energy. Mastering the subject or skill does not happen overnight, but requires concerted effort and repetition over time.
* Inability to apply concepts to different situations: Learning something new requires going beyond the facts. To truly understand a concept you must be able to apply it. Until you have a thorough understanding and are able to recognize its application in a new situation, you don't have a true understanding. College-level work calls for the application of concepts in new situations.
* Inability to complete tasks: Everyone gets "stuck" sometimes. The wise person seeks assistance. Work through the task and identify the area that is giving you problems, then seek appropriate assistance.
* Fear of failure: Failure is a fact of life. If Thomas Edison had quit the first time his light bulb didn't work, we'd be sitting in the dark. What is important is not to become discouraged when things don't work out. It is important to learn from your mistakes and move on.
* Procrastination: No one does their best work at the last minute. Procrastination can lead to stress, substandard or marginal work, and poor performance on exams. College-level work calls for pre-reading material for lectures and frequent review of material. This requires planned study times each day, not last minute cramming.
* Excessive dependency: Independent thought and action are keys to success in college. Depending upon your professor to tell you everything you need to know for an exam is a recipe for failure. Take responsibility for your own learning, cover the material required, and seek out needed help and resources.
* Too little or too much self-confidence: Self-confidence is a wonderful thing, but over-confidence can be detrimental to your college career. An accurate appraisal of your abilities is key to success in college. Recognizing areas that require further development is the key to your success as a student and as a person. Conversely, too little confidence can paralyze you and prevent you from building on strengths you already possess.
* Inability to delay gratification: You may experience classes at the college level where there are few graded activities, forcing you to wait for feedback on your progress. It is important that you stay motivated in spite of this lack of feedback. You can help yourself by creating milestones for yourself to measure your progress and keep yourself motivated.
* Lack of balance between critical, analytical and creative thinking: College-level work requires several types of thinking beyond rote memory. Critical, analytical and creative thinking are not automatic, but are skills that can be learned. Make the effort to learn these skills for a substantial pay-off in mastering your coursework and boosting your grade point average.

Romance Tips for Marriage Delights

By Annette Carpien



Has your relationship gotten a bit stale or lifeless? Wish you could “juice” it up more? If you are not getting enough affection, quality time, connection or romance, perhaps you are not giving enough, waiting for your partner to initiate. Be proactive.

1. CARVE OUT LOVE & CONNECTION TIME.

Take 2 minutes (or more) at least once each day to stop everything else, and focus on your love, admiration, appreciation of each other, even if, for now, it is one-sided. A good time might be when your partner just comes home. This is not the time to talk about the toilet backing up or overdue bills or your frustrations at work. Don’t mix problems in with connection time. Think of this as sacred time. If you have children, train them that this is mommy and daddy together time, then will come their time. What could be a better model for your children to observe than their parents loving each other.

2. TOUCH OFTEN, TOUCH SWEETLY.

A kiss behind the neck, a stroke on the thigh. Offer a massage as a birthday gift. Sometimes sensual and inviting, sometimes reaffirming of your love and commitment.

3. HAVE SEX MORE OFTEN. Even if you are not particularly attracted to your spouse any longer, or are too tired, make time for sex. Rather than deciding if you are in the mood or not, act as if you are in the mood, and you will likely find that you get in the mood quickly!

Sex is good for bonding, for your health and for your mental state. Don’t play the victim; ask for what DO you want and do whatever you can to make it delicious and enjoyable.

Though this sounds stereotypical, there is truth in it: Women who are pissed off and frustrated because their spouses don’t help around the house find that with more sex, their husbands become much more involved in home life, willingly. So focus on sex, and the housework and childcare may get more attention after all.

4. CULTIVATE YOUR PRIVATE JOKES, STORIES, YOUR OWN UNIQUE WAYS OF TOUCHING AND CONNECTING.

These are all highly bonding to a sense of "us" in own world, distinct from everyone else.

5. LEARN EACH OTHER’S LOVE LANGUAGE.

Do you feel loved and cared for in different ways than your partner does? Ask yourself, “how and when do I feel most loved?” Then either observe or ask your partner the same question. Give your partner the love he/she wants in the way he/she wants it. Ask for it in your way. We all know "the Golden Rule" - "Treat others as you want to be treated". This is "The Platinum Rule": "Love another the way he or she wants to be loved".

6. FIRE THE MIND READER.

Don’t assume your partner understands your every need and wish. Request, and tell what you want or need, especially when your wishes or needs change. Likewise, don’t assume you understand your partner’s feelings, needs, wants. Be curious, and ask.

We each have the power to positively influence an outcome that we want to achieve. We have inherent, God-given tools such as the power to envision, the power of intentionality, inspiration, assertiveness, the power to discover win-win solutions, to be loving, to ask for what we want, to see the best in another.

We also have many external resources available to help us give and get the love and romance we want. Ask someone you know who has the kind of marriage or relationship you want, for insights and inspiration. Or work with a coach, who specializes in relationships, love and/or romance to help you have the love, romance, and great sex you long for.

Web Design Tips for programmers

by: Rincewind

Introduction

Much can be said about Web Design. And it will not be very appropriate for such site. So I will show you briefly what you have to do to improve your ASP.NET pages if you can't use a professional web designer to help you... and if you don't want to spend months learning designing principles.

I understand that the programmers don't have enough time to do web design and really it is not necessary. But there are principles everyone can comply with which can greatly improve the sites attractiveness. What will be written here will be short, clear and in places in the form of simple tips so you don't waste your time reading large manuals on web design.

Note: You can save this on convenient place and refer back to it to recall some principles later.

Compatibility

There are so many people on the globe and with the help of Internet you can touch them all. But this also means that your site will be seen by different people with different software and hardware configuration of their computers. You have to try not to restrict their access to your site because of their difference. At least if you are selling something the result is in fewer sales and less revenue.

One of the things you have to consider is the screen's resolution. There can be many variations, starting from 640x480 to 1600x1200. More likely it is for them to be 800x600 and 1024x768 and recently higher as 1280x960. What you have to do is to ensure that the site will be viewed perfectly at the first two and at least decent on the others.

More serious problem is the browsers' difference in their possibilities. There is no doubt that Internet Explorer rules the market but the percent of usage of the others browsers is still serious. Problems make even the older versions of IE. Do not underestimate the Netscape browser's family. Now with the final release of Mozilla which is an excellent browser it is evident that even on Windows there is a very good alternative. If we have to speak of standard compliance Mozilla is much further than Internet Explorer… but well we all know which browser we get with Windows. Do not forget that the users of the alternative OSes probably use Mozilla or Netscape 6 and 7 based on Mozilla's rendering engine.

It may be impossible to check your application on every possible browser. What I suggest is test your site on early version of IE (in my opinion 5.0 is enough) and on Mozilla. It really is not that hard and will ensure you that your site will be easily accessible by many people.

Page layout

Think very thoroughly before making the initial design. Do not use the Visual Studio.net IDE to do that, use the old-fashioned paper and pencil. If you are a typical geek you may use a tablet for fully digital sketching :) But the idea is the same - design before you do it.

Make the most important parts easily distinguishable from the others which are not. The navigation panel is such an important part. The titles of the news/tutorials/articles or whatever are more important than the content. Make them different (different color, size etc.)

Use space. Yep, space. Do not try to fill all the area with text. The more the text the less important becomes every part of it.

Colors

Much can be said about colors. There are books and whole sites regarding colors and the so called 'color harmony'. If this presented here is not enough, it is sufficient to write the keyword 'color theory' in Google and you will get many materials on the matter.

There are three types of colors: warm, cold and neutral. Neutral are white and black...

I thought of writing much about colors but I realized that the subject is too broad. Look at the specialized sites if you are more interested in it.

The only thing I can advice you in such short place is not to use pink (if you are not going to make gay sites). Do not use several bright colors like light green, light red, light purple at once. The result is awful. The background should be some blunted color. The font color should be bright enough to be easily discriminated from the background.

Fonts

Do not use many fonts on your page. Well you do not have much anyway because you have to consider the fact that the users do not have all the additional fonts you may have. Even then you have enough to make a decent mess :)

Never, never use Comic Sans font. It may look cool to you, it may look different and appealing but it is not. The only use you for it is for some titles at kid's oriented site. The reading of long text written in this font is far than pleasant.

Use one font on your site. If you think that it is appropriate you can use one more too. No more. Think about the fact that Verdana and Georgia are created especially to be shown on computer's screen and thus look nice in lower sizes.

Think about the fact that one font may look nice 8 pixels large on 800x600 screen resolution but may be unreadable at 1280x960.

Usability

Most of the dynamic sites (the ASP.NET driven ones for example) consist of much text. What you have to ensure is the easy reading of this text. First you have to consider the facts written in the 'Fonts' section.

Second, you have to separate the text in small portions. This way it will be easier and more pleasant to read. The long text should be separated in short logical paragraphs.

You think about the text's width. You should try to limit the word's count on every line to 10-12 words. Of course this means that your paragraphs should have fixed width. A very wide text is much harder to read. If it is not long this should not be a serious problem. Another story is the situation when we have long articles or even books.

Text separated on multiple pages can be recommended too. But in this case you should provide a 'printer friendly' version for the ones who want to save the page or to print it (obviously :).

Images

If you get your images (and icons when talking about windows applications) from some free sources try to get them from one place. In many sites you can see the inconsistence of image styles, one is 3D, and another is comic style, and third is… well something different.

You probably know the rule: JPG is for photos, GIF is for flat looking, comic style images. You can use PNG - it is supported by all recent browsers. Do not underestimate the GIF format too. The GIF format is lossless but can represent only 256 colors. This may be enough for photos containing one dominant hue of a color. Just try if your photo can be represented nice in GIF. Sometimes it will not only save you additional size of the file but make your image look more sharp and clear.

Short tips:

Make your site consistent through the pages. Wherever is the navigation panel in one page there it should be on another one. The color theme should be the same except in the cases you want to indicate to the visitor that they reached different part of the site.

Use the so called non breaking space - ' ' which put between two words appear as space but this tell the browser that the words should not be separated.

Do not use page counters. They suck. Use some kind of statistics but do not use page counters (shown to your visitors). It was cool 5 years ago.

Do not put 'Under construction' signs. Every site is developing. That doesn't mean that we should all put such signs. If something is not ready do not put it there.

Do not use blinking text. This is part of the HTML standards but it is so annoying and unnecessary that some browsers like IE go further and render this kind of text as normal, non blinking one.

Try not to create all blue sites. Yeah, I understand that you think the blue is nice color. Haven't you seen that you are not the only one? There are so much blue sites that it will be very hard for yours to stand out of the crowd.

Do not use frames. There is so much trouble with them - your site can not be properly indexed by most of the web crawlers, no one can bookmark a specific page because the browser's address bar shows the main one. If you hit the refresh button the main page is refreshed instead of the one you are looking at. If you go to forums about web design you can see endless accusations towards the frames. Do not use them if you are not totally confident in their use.

Do not use splash screen. Yeah the one that is cool the first few times when you come to the site and the same which become boring and time consuming to pass the next hundreds visits.

Final words

There is no doubt that much more can be told about improving your site's design. This article is by no means complete explanation of the web design stuffs but I hope that it was helpful to you.


Seducing Men
Do you want to know how to seduce a guy? The tips given below for seducing a man will go a long way in helping you win the game of seduction...

Choose the Right Person
First thing is to choose the right person. You don't want to go through the whole process of seducing a guy and finding out in the end, that he is not your type.

Pay Attention
Flatter him with attention. Throw admiring glances his way every now and then, pass by him and so on.

Approach
If he is also returning your hints, don't be shy to approach him and strike a conversation.

Flirt
Flirt with him to let him know that you are interested in him and that there are no chances of refusal.

Let Him Chase
Now, back off a little. While seducing men, it is necessary to remember that they like the game of chasing and you need to let them enjoy it. However, do not become so cold that they start thinking of pulling away.

Make the Final Move
By now, both of you must have understood each other's intention. So, go for the final move.

Valentine's Day Tips for Preserving Your Gifts

By Barb Webb


With Valentine's Day around the corner, it's time to brush up on ways to keep your treasures in top shape. Whether you are the gift giver or the gift reciever, use the following tips to extend the life of your heartfelt presents.

Liven Up Your Flowers. Your beautiful bouquet may come with a little packet to add to your water for longer lasting freshness, but if not, a shot of vodka added to the water in a vase will keep give your flowers staying power.

Freeze Your Candles. Whether rose, lavendar, or honeysuckle is a scent you prefer, if you freeze candles before you use them, they will burn for a longer period.

Hook Your Buttons. If you have a pesky button come loose on your delicates or valentines day outfits, re-stich it using fish line for thread. This will keep it place for a very long time.

Give Your Glass Sparkle. To clean special champagne glasses or glass containers such as vases, use a solution of salt, lemon juice, and crushed ice. Swirl them around inside to achieve a sparkling clean. If the glass is very fragile, just eliminate the ice from the process.

Shine Your Silver. If Silver trinkets are your preferred Valentines Day delight, keep your silver jewelry in an air tight container, such as a Tupperware or Rubbermaid container when you are not wearing it. This will prevent the silver from discoloring or tarnishing.

Wash Your Gold. Keep your gold jewelry in tip-top shape by filling a small bowl with warm water and a dash of mild liquid detergent, such as Woolite. Soak the items for a minute, then using an eyebrow brush or a toothbrush, gently brush any particles or dirt off the jewelry, while shining it up. Strain the jewelry, rinse off with warm water, then pat excess water off allow the gold jewelry to air dry.

Note: This process works well for diamonds, rubies, sapphires, and emeralds too. Take care not to rub the stones against eachother, though, when cleaning.

Primp Your Pearls. These gorgeous treasurer from the sea are fragile and a bit finicky when it comes to care. The best way to clean your pearls is with a soft, non-abrasive cloth which may be slightly dampened with water for hard to remove spots. Pearls will last longest if cleaned and then stored in a soft jewelry bag, or a square of linen cloth after each wearing.

Dust Your Displays. If you receive a portrait or framed print, preserve the life and color by developing regular dusting habits, keeping the picture out of direct sunlight, and away from unusually hot or humid areas of the home. These simple practices will keep your picture alive for a lifetime.

Cover Your Chocolates. It's easy to indulge on the delight of chocolate gifts, but if you wish to savor the experience or stretch out the calorie impact by eating the goodies over a period of time, then you'll need a preservation plan. Fine chocolates may be refridgerated for two months, or frozen for up to six, but both of these option may lead to discoloration and sometimes alters the taste. It's best to keep your chocolates goodies cool, dry, and away from bight lights and odors. Upper kitchen cabinets may be a good choice, as well as pantries. Storing the chocolate in an airtight container may also be a good choice, provided it is kept away from heat and light sources.

Romantic Ideas And Tips For A First Date

By Ezilon.com Articles

Romantic Ideas And Tips For A First Date


Preparing for that big date? It takes more than nice clothes and a fancy dinner to make your date feel special. If you want to leave that lasting impression, here are some tips and ideas for a truly memorable date that would be hard to forget:

1. Having dinner is always the number one dating activity. But the key here is how to make it romantic. Giving your date flowers is always nice. Make sure that you have an idea of what’s good and what isn’t on the menu so that she won’t regret eating out with you. A delicious meal leaves a lasting impression. Don’t pretend to be an expert on food though as this might bore your date. To make a first date special, there can be other firsts you can set up. First time to try an exquisite dish, first time to drink a certain kind of wine, first time to eat with her hands, whatever, let your imagination run wild with this one. You can also “connive” with a waiter to do something different. Maybe he can make a public announcement like, “Mr. John Doe would like to thank Miss Jane for granting him the pleasure of her company tonight.”… The key is to make this dinner different from all the dinners she’s had in the past.

2. The next common dating activity would be going to a movie. Most girls go for romantic comedies. It’s funny and mushy at the same time. Just don’t keep grunting or yawning while you’re watching. She’d appreciate it very much if you matched her enthusiasm, or at least, assure her that you don’t think these movies are lame. Quoting lines from the movie afterwards won’t hurt your chances either.
If you really can’t stand romantic comedies, try a funny movie. Just make sure you don’t end up snorting coke up your nose (I mean the soft drink, okay?). It’s ideal to get a jumbo-sized serving of popcorn that the two of you can share. Not only do you get to brush your hand with hers, she’ll see you as a generous date.

3. Do something she’s never tried before. But only if she’s up to it and only if you know how to go about that certain activity. As said earlier, something that sets this first date apart gives you an edge. Teach her how to ice skate and hold her hand steady as she tries to balance herself. Play mini-golf, teach her the proper swing and let her win some times. Play billiards and talk strategies on how to get the ball in, looking deep into her eyes. Be sensitive enough though to figure out when she’s getting tired and don’t let her feel frustrated. Do something stupid, like swinging the golf ball backwards, just to make her laugh. If she isn’t enjoying this particular activity, you can always go to a nice restaurant…

4. Go to a theme park or a carnival. Surely, there will be loads that you can do and, unless she is too sophisticated for this, she will surely enjoy this date. It’s not everyday you get to ride the Ferris wheel, play arcade or carnival games, eat cotton candy, reminisce on the merry-go-round ride or scream wildly on the roller coaster. This is a chance to be like kids again and just have good clean fun. Just make sure that you will be a gentleman and will help her get up on rides, hold her hand when she gets scared, guide her through the game booths, and of course, win her some prizes. No matter how corny prizes you get, she will surely appreciate these as you have won these for her.

5. Talk. But don’t just blabber away. Talk WITH your date. Conversation is important as the point of the date is to get to know someone and enjoy their company. Believe it or not, good conversation is a real turn-on. Deliver compliments. Compliments are always good, and if delivered the right way, very romantic. As long as you’re sincere and do not go overboard, your date will be repeating your words over and over in her head days after your first date.

6. Lastly, a kiss on the cheek or the hand is an appropriate way to end the date. Make sure you tell your date how much you enjoyed the date, and ask her out again, if you really did. Tell her what kind of impression she has made on you, and make sure it’s an ego-boosting one. You’ll likely have a second date if you’ve treated her well and made her feel better about herself.

Six Cool Careers for Pet Lovers

By Valerie Young



There are many ways to translate your love of animals into your

vocation. Here are just a few of the hundreds of things you can do with or for animals or their owners that I dug up on the web.


1. Take Care of Them



If you love dogs and cats you may want to consider establishing yourself as a professional pet sitter. Start by visiting the websites of other pet sitters in your area. That way you'll get an idea of prices and possible add-on services. For example, Candy Bird of Pampered Pet Sitting was recently featured in my local newspaper.



Candy specializes in a rural area here in Western Massachusetts known as the Hill Towns. She charges $12-15 per dog and $8-10 per cat. Candy has a set rate of $50 for weekly care for one pet (more for 2) and charges extra for administering medication, nail trimming, and driving pets to appointments.



In the article, Candy recommended pet sitters be bonded and insured. Bonding offers the home owner security against theft. Pet insurance (who knew!) covers you in the event something happens to the pet while in your care.



You can learn more about pet sitting insurance at Pet Sitters International of which Candy is a member. Insurance rates vary depending on the coverage options you choose. The rates for the liability insurance range from $254 to $590 or more and for the bonding from $50 - $300 or more.



I thought I'd check on some city rates so I headed over to Uptown Walkers in Chicago. They charge $35 for pet sitting and also offer dog walking services at $12 for a half an hour walk and feeding. As a nice value-added service Uptown Walkers will also water your plants, bring in mail and newspapers, adjust blinds and drapes, and rotate turning lights on in the home promoting home security. It was not clear though if this costs extra. Visit them at



Pet Sit Canada offers an ebook called Starting a Pet Sitting Business in Canada: A Manual for Beginners. All proceeds from the sale of this guide go to the Canadian Pet Sitters Association



Pet Sitters International puts out a glossy magazine called The World. I decided to click on an article called Top 10 Reasons NOT To Travel With Your Pets by Thom Somes. Now if Thom had simply had a link to his site I may have skimmed the title and moved on. But under Thom's name it said, The Pet Safety Guy. When I saw that I thought, now here's a guy who knows how to brand himself as an expert! Which leads me to income stream #2.


2. Teach People About Them



Pet Safety Guy, Thom Somes, runs courses for pet owners, pet lovers,owners of pet-related businesses like veterinarians, pet walkers, sitters, trainers and others. His California-based company, Pet Tech, offers a 3-day pet safety training program. Once you take the course you can then offer it to your clients.



According to the website:



"Pet Tech supports its instructors with marketing strategies,

advertising materials, public relations and a student referral program. As a qualified Pet Tech instructor, you can fulfill an important need for pet owners and increase your revenues as well as the following:



~ Increase the success of your business

~ Attract new clients

~ Be part of a fun and exciting industry

~ Offer additional services to existing clients



The Instructor Training is ideal for: obedience trainers, kennel

operators, pet retailers, pet sitters, veterinarian staff, animal

shelter employees, pet rescue personnel, pet groomers, EMT's, fire

fighters, and any pet lover."



A course just ran in Atlanta and more are scheduled for California and Pennsylvania. The rest of the 2003 schedule is not up yet so there may well be a course coming up in your area. If not, maybe you can help organize one.


3. Train Them to Behave



After getting my dog, Cokie Roberts (no relation to the highly respected journalist), from a local no-kill animal shelter, I hired a young woman to come to the house to give us private training lessons. I say "us" because so much of dog training is teaching the owner the commands and to follow through. She charged the same as if I'd taken a class and the convenience factor was priceless. Cokie easily mastered "sit," "down," and "leave it." A very determined boy, he's still working on "come."



If you have an interest in learning to be a dog trainer, the Association of Pet Dog Trainers (APDT) has established and seeks to maintain a series of standards for professional competence in pet dog training by certifying dog training professionals. Exams are held in 15 states and candidates who pass the exam will earn the title Certified Pet Dog Trainer and may use the designation, "CPDT," after their names. The CPDT holds their annual conference and trade show each September.


4. Train Them to Appear in TV, Movies, and Commercials



Are you a big fan of the Animal Planet channel's Steve Irwin the

Crocodile Hunter or Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom? Do you wish you could be the person parading the chimps or elephants or other exotic animals out on stage or training them for the movies? Don't have a clue how to get started? You're in luck!



In addition to training and providing animals to the movie and

television industry, Amazing Animal Actors in Malibu, California came up with another creative income stream – courses for animal lovers!



Affection Training and Exotic Animal Care & Handling is a hands-on

course teaches you how to work with a variety of animals from around the world including chimpanzees, monkeys, lions, tigers, leopards, elephants, bears, wolves, reptiles, birds of prey, and domestic animals.



Phase One of the program starts the first weekend of June, 2003. Classes will be held once a week on Saturdays for 6 months, totaling 24 classes. According to the website, the course schedule "allows students to still work while they participate in the program, gives students the opportunity to volunteer during the week for extra experience, and also gives us time to help students find work in the industry for after they graduate.



Trainer for a Day Clinic: If you don't live in Southern California or

you aren't sure if working with exotic animals is even right for you,

Amazing Animal Actors offers a one day clinic that lets you work

side-by-side with a Hollywood studio trainer.



During this private encounter (or up to two couples can participate together) you will work one-on-one with the animals in their Affection Training, husbandry and daily enrichment programs. This hands-on, full-contact day will be spent with our animal actors such as the famous Chimpanzee group, Angel, Apollo, Sable, Cody and Tea, featuring chimps of all different sizes and ages. You'll also work with Bengal Tiger cub Taja, young African Lion Jabari, Harris Hawk Nike and more.



You will assist their trainers in their daily activities at the Ranch by helping with the daily food-prep, compound management and assisting with our world-famous Affection Training program. Due to the nature of this program, you can choose to focus on a particular animal, or spend time with all of them – it’s up to you.



If you are an above-average animal lover and have been thinking about starting a career with exotic animals, then this one-day encounter is for you. Longer and more extensive programs are available upon request. Our 'Trainer For the Day' Exotic Animal Encounters are offered year-round so you can choose the day best for you. All participants must be 18 years or older.



To learn more about Amazing Animal Actors and their courses

click here. I found Amazing Animal Actors at a site packed with film-industry links and resources. If you are passionate about starting a career as an animal handler, visit some of these sites, contact the owners, and ask how you can break into the business.



AssistantDirectors.com is the same place I found a resource for my European friends, The Animal Consultants and Trainers Association. According to the site, ACTA members have experience in the field of media use of animals in stills, stage, advertising, television and film.


5. Bake for Them



Take two trends – the quest for natural foods and the fact that people are spending more than ever to pamper their pets – and you've got the makings of a winning business. P.C.'s Pantry,Inc., a bakery and deli for dogs and cats in Boulder, Colorado, specializes in "Barkday" cakes for pet parties, "meat loaves," and homemade biscuits in 18 varieties including Bark-B-Q, Choco-Lab-Brownie, and Pup-kin. They also offer pet-related gifts for pet-lovers, a line of holistic pet foods and supplements, and a delivery service.


6. Heal Them, Board Them, Consult About Them, Sell Health Food for Them, Write About Them... Or All of the Above!



One of my clients was interested in opening a dog spa complete with a small cafe where dogs and their owners were both welcome. So, I decided to do a little research. That's when I found Cindy (I never was able to find her last name), a former accountant who heard her calling to heal animals using warm water therapy.



As it turns out Cindy is also a very enterprising small business owner who has not one, not two, but six income streams all feeding right into her passion for dogs. (That is if I counted them all.)



After working for many years with horses, twelve years ago, Cindy opened LaPaw Spa and Mountain Meadows health retreat boarding center in Redmond, Washington. She also opened a health store offering nutritional support and alternatives and has an eBook. (Can you say "multiple income streams"?!)



One of Cindy's sidelines, and the one I found so unique, is if you want to open your own warm water healing spa, she'll travel to your site to consult with you! The purpose of the "mentoring service for people interested in getting started with their own spa business" is to "help to get you on the right track, give you ideas about the necessary equipment, and hopefully, keep you from going through some of the trials and tribulations that she went through before she came up with the perfect system that she has now."



Cindy also offers phone consultations to dog owners who have questions, need encouragement, have access to a pool and would like some custom help for or about their disabled or aging dog. Oh yes, she's also working on an eBook.



You can learn about Cindy's training through the Worldwide Aquatic Bodywork Association and her wide range of services here.



If nothing else, visit the page that features the beautiful photos of her tranquil home and just listen to the birds sing here.



These are just a few of the many ways to make a living working with animals. If you love animals and want to find a way to turn

your passion into your living, invest some time to bark up the right

tree. Because, when you love what you do, you are truly living in the "lap" of luxury!

Ten Tips For Parents To Help Their Children Avoid Teen Pregnancy

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy has reviewed recent research about parental influences on children's sexual behavior and talked to many experts in the field, as well as to teens and parents themselves. From these sources, it is clear that there is much parents and adults can do to reduce the risk of kids becoming pregnant before they've grown up.

Presented here as "ten tips," many of these lessons will seem familiar because they articulate what parents already know from experience - like the importance of maintaining strong, close relationships with children and teens, setting clear expectations for them, and communicating honestly and often with them about important matters. Research supports these common sense lessons: not only are they good ideas generally, but they can also help teens delay becoming sexually active, as well as encourage those who are having sex to use contraception carefully.

Finally, although these tips are for parents, they can be used by adults more generally in their relationships with teenagers. Parents-especially those who are single or working long hours-often turn to other adults for help in raising their children and teens. If all these caring adults are on the same "wavelength" about the issues covered here, young people are given more consistent messages.

So, What to Do?

1. Be clear about your own sexual values and attitudes.
Communicating with your children about sex, love, and relationships is often more successful when you are certain in your own mind about these issues. To help clarify your attitudes and values, think about the following kinds of questions:

* What do you really think about school-aged teenagers being sexually active-perhaps even becoming parents?
* Who is responsible for setting sexual limits in a relationship and how is that done, realistically?
* Were you sexually active as a teenager and how do you feel about that now? Were you sexually active before you were married? What do such reflections lead you to say to your own children about these issues?
* What do you think about encouraging teenagers to abstain from sex?
* What do you think about teenagers using contraception?

2. Talk with your children early and often about sex, and be specific.
Kids have lots of questions about sex, and they often say that the source they'd most like to go to for answers is their parents. Start the conversation, and make sure that it is honest, open, and respectful. If you can't think of how to start the discussion, consider using situations shown on television or in movies as conversation starters. Tell them candidly and confidently what you think and why you take these positions; if you're not sure about some issues, tell them that, too. Be sure to have a two-way conversation, not a one-way lecture. Ask them what they think and what they know so you can correct misconceptions. Ask what, if anything, worries them.

Age-appropriate conversations about relationships and intimacy should begin early in a child's life and continue through adolescence. Resist the idea that there should be just one conversation about all this - you know, "the talk." The truth is that parents and kids should be talking about sex and love all along. This applies to both sons and daughters and to both mothers and fathers, incidentally. All kids need a lot of communication, guidance, and information about these issues, even if they sometimes don't appear to be interested in what you have to say. And if you have regular conversations, you won't worry so much about making a mistake or saying something not quite right, because you'll always be able to talk again.

Many inexpensive books and videos are available to help with any detailed information you might need, but don't let your lack of technical information make you shy. Kids need as much help in understanding the meaning of sex as they do in understanding how all the body parts work. Tell them about love and sex, and what the difference is. And remember to talk about the reasons that kids find sex interesting and enticing; discussing only the "downside" of unplanned pregnancy and disease misses many of the issues on teenagers' minds.

Here are the kinds of questions kids say they want to discuss:

* How do I know if I'm in love? Will sex bring me closer to my girlfriend/boyfriend?
* How will I know when I'm ready to have sex? Should I wait until marriage?
* Will having sex make me popular? Will it make me more grown-up and open up more adult activities to me?
* How do I tell my boyfriend that I don't want to have sex without losing him or hurting his feelings?
* How do I manage pressure from my girlfriend to have sex?
* How does contraception work? Are some methods better than others? Are they safe?
* Can you get pregnant the first time?

In addition to being an "askable parent," be a parent with a point of view. Tell your children what you think. Don't be reluctant to say, for example:

* I think kids in high school are too young to have sex, especially given today's risks.
* Whenever you do have sex, always use protection against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases until you are ready to have a child.
* Our family's religion says that sex should be an expression of love within marriage.
* Finding yourself in a sexually charged situation is not unusual; you need to think about how you'll handle it in advance. Have a plan. Will you say "no"? Will you use contraception? How will you negotiate all this?
* It's okay to think about sex and to feel sexual desire. Everybody does! But it's not okay to get pregnant/get somebody pregnant as a teenager.
* One of the many reasons I'm concerned about teens drinking is that it often leads to unprotected sex.
* (For boys) Having a baby doesn't make you a man. Being able to wait and acting responsibly does.
* (For girls) You don't have to have sex to keep a boyfriend. If sex is the price of a close relationship, find someone else.

By the way, research clearly shows that talking with your children about sex does not encourage them to become sexually active. And remember, too, that your own behavior should match your words. The "do as I say, not as I do" approach is bound to lose with children and teenagers, who are careful and constant observers of the adults in their lives.

3. Supervise and monitor your children and adolescents.
Establish rules, curfews, and standards of expected behavior, preferably through an open process of family discussion and respectful communication. If your children get out of school at 3 pm and you don't get home from work until 6 pm, who is responsible for making certain that your children are not only safe during those hours, but also are engaged in useful activities? Where are they when they go out with friends? Are there adults around who are in charge? Supervising and monitoring your kids' whereabouts doesn't make you a nag; it makes you a parent.

4. Know your children's friends and their families.
Friends have a strong influence on each other, so help your children and teenagers become friends with kids whose families share your values. Some parents of teens even arrange to meet with the parents of their children's friends to establish common rules and expectations. It is easier to enforce a curfew that all your child's friends share rather than one that makes him or her different-but even if your views don't match those of other parents, hold fast to your convictions. Welcome your children's friends into your home and talk to them openly.

5. Discourage early, frequent, and steady dating.
Group activities among young people are fine and often fun, but allowing teens to begin steady, one-on-one dating much before age 16 can lead to trouble. Let your child know about your strong feelings about this throughout childhood-don't wait until your young teen proposes a plan that differs from your preferences in this area; otherwise, he or she will think you just don't like the particular person or invitation.

6. Take a strong stand against your daughter dating a boy significantly older than she is. And don't allow your son to develop an intense relationship with a girl much younger than he is.
Older guys can seem glamorous to a young girl-sometimes they even have money and a car to boot! But the risk of matters getting out of hand increases when the guy is much older than the girl. Try setting a limit of no more than a two- (or at most three-) year age difference. The power differences between younger girls and older boys or men can lead girls into risky situations, including unwanted sex and sex with no protection.

7. Help your teenagers to have options for the future that are more attractive than early pregnancy and parenthood.
The chances that your children will delay sex, pregnancy, and parenthood are significantly increased if their futures appears bright. This means helping them set meaningful goals for the future, talking to them about what it takes to make future plans come true, and helping them reach their goals. Tell them, for example, that if they want to be a teacher, they will need to stay in school in order to earn various degrees and pass certain exams. It also means teaching them to use free time in a constructive way, such as setting aside certain times to complete homework assignments. Explain how becoming pregnant-or causing pregnancy-can derail the best of plans; for example, child care expenses can make it almost impossible to afford college. Community service, in particular, not only teaches job skills, but can also put teens in touch with a wide variety of committed and caring adults.

8. Let your kids know that you value education highly.
Encourage your children to take school seriously and set high expectations about their school performance. School failure is often the first sign of trouble that can end in teenage parenthood. Be very attentive to your children's progress in school and intervene early if things aren't going well. Keep track of your children's grades and discuss them together. Meet with teachers and principals, guidance counselors, and coaches. Limit the number of hours your teenager gives to part-time jobs (20 hours per week should be the maximum) so that there is enough time and energy left to focus on school. Know about homework assignments and support your child in getting them done. Volunteer at the school, if possible. Schools want more parental involvement and will often try to accommodate your work schedule, if asked.

9. Know what your kids are watching, reading, and listening to.
The media (television, radio, movies, music videos, magazines, the Internet) are chock full of material sending the wrong messages. Sex rarely has meaning, unplanned pregnancy seldom happens, and few people having sex ever seem to be married or even especially committed to anyone. Is this consistent with your expectations and values? If not, it is important to talk with your children about what the media portray and what you think about it. If certain programs or movies offend you, say so, and explain why. Be "media literate"-think about what you and your family are watching and reading. Encourage your kids to think critically: ask them what they think about the programs they watch and the music they listen to.You can always turn the TV off, cancel subscriptions, and place certain movies off limits. You will probably not be able to fully control what your children see and hear, but you can certainly make your views known and control your own home environment.

10. These first nine tips for helping your children avoid teen pregnancy work best when they occur as part of strong, close relationships with your children that are built from an early age.
Strive for a relationship that is warm in tone, firm in discipline, and rich in communication, and one that emphasizes mutual trust and respect. There is no single way to create such relationships, but the following habits of the heart can help:

* Express love and affection clearly and often. Hug your children, and tell them how much they mean to you. Praise specific accomplishments, but remember that expressions of affection should be offered freely, not just for a particular achievement.
* Listen carefully to what your children say and pay thoughtful attention to what they do.
* Spend time with your children engaged in activities that suit their ages and interests, not just yours. Shared experiences build a "bank account" of affection and trust that forms the basis for future communication with them about specific topics, including sexual behavior.
* Be supportive and be interested in what interests them. Attend their sports events; learn about their hobbies; be enthusiastic about their achievements, even the little ones; ask them questions that show you care and want to know what is going on in their lives.
* Be courteous and respectful to your children and avoid hurtful teasing or ridicule. Don't compare your teenager with other family members (i.e., why can't you be like your older sister?). Show that you expect courtesy and respect from them in return.
* Help them to build self-esteem by mastering skills; remember, self-esteem is earned, not given, and one of the best ways to earn it is by doing something well.
* Try to have meals together as a family as often as possible, and use the time for conversation, not confrontation.

Surviving Betrayal: 19 Tips to Cope With Your Husband's Affair

Lies and deception are bad enough, but when a spouse betrays you the shock can be devastating. Millions of marriage – one in every 2.7 American couples – are touched by infidelity.
But what the numbers don't reveal is what betrayed spouses are doing to get past their personal trauma and rebuild their lives. Here, i Village members of the candid guidance they wish they'd had.
Finding Out: What to do right after “D-Day”
“Take time off”. Going away from a while (with or without children) helps you to gain clarity. Take a few days off from work. If that's no possible, go away for weekend . Even if you can only afford to go down the street to a friend's house, the personal time is worth it “.---- elengro
“ Surround yourself with people who love you. Ask for help and support from your parents, siblings and friends right away. Don't be afraid of what anyone might think, because this situation is no your fault.”---- elngro
“Learn to say “no”. You are under extremes stress, but the rest of your life-- job, kids,friends--- won't calm down. Prioritize your responsibilities so that you can put some of them on the back burner.
Start to tell people, 'I will have to issue later.'--- lonelyforhim
Putting Yourself First
“If you don't have one,start your own bank account right away. Save as much money each week as you can. Even if your marriage heals, you can always use this account, and it's much better to be prepared than to get caught short.”-- marnaj

“Get conseling for yourself first.
Couples counseling is important, but going alone is vatal. If insurance allows it, see your own counselor apart from your marriage counselor on a regular basis. I also find that this on line support group helps me immensely.”--- elangro
“Go get tested for STDs and HIV. As scary as this seems, your health i9s something that is simply too important to hide fr4om. For many of the test, you can even get results in one day.”--- theirmomfirst

Deciding to Stay or Go
“You are not to blame for your husband's decision to cheat. In the same way, You must take responsibility for your decision. If you base all of your choices on what makes you happy, They are good guilt, but do not leave him out of spite.”--catherine303
“If you settle for less than you want, you will get less than you settle for. I hope that none of us are settling for anything.”-- town11town
“I simply could not live with mistrust. A first thought, 'Well yes he hurt me, but he's a good father a good provider, and he makes me laugh.'But I always came back to question. If he went out of town, I wanted to know if he he was having one-night stands. If wondered, was he with another woman? Some women may be able to live with the question mark, but I could not.”-- an iVillage member

If You Choose to Rebuild the Relationship
“Beware of the 'honeymoon stage.' A lot of betrayed couples go through a period of bliss right after they decide to 'work things' out.' A sort of euphoria comes on, but it is simply false security, because the roller coaster ride often comes next. The happy honeymoon stage can last from 2 days to 10 months, but eventually you wi8ll have to live in reality-- tough times and all.”--clijill.2
“If you need to know where your spouse is at all times, that's okay. He betrayed you and you are hurting. Just ask for extra reassurance. An extra phone call or having the key to his office can help. If he really wants to repair your relationship, he's got to be willing to share the details of his life, no matter how small.”-- dorsini
If You Choose to Let Your Spouse Go
“Don't look at your husband's leaving as your life ending--- it can be a new beginning. After 17 years together, my husband left me, and I felt so alone, Scared and angry. I found out I can do things I thought I never Could, And A new, More self confident, peaceful me emerged.”--superjagfan
“It hared, but stop yourself from wondering if he will come home. Focus on yourself ( and your kids). Do things that you like to do-- shop, take walks, long baths, whatever makes you feel good! If you have kids, make special time to be with them.”--Anonymous
“Explain the situation to your children if they are old enough to understand what's happening. Tell them that you are still available to them, and that you need their support, too. Kids are perceptive, and they'll see through any lives.”--stitcher2000


Facing the Idea of the Other Woman
“Try this: If you say,'I hate the other woman,'ask yourself,'Why does she have the power over me? How am I like her? What am I getting from all this misery? I struggled with these questions, but when I finally answer them I felt as if a huge load was off my shoulders. I had so much trouble seeing how we might be similar,but light bulbs went on for me when I figured it out. For example, she is destructive, but so am I because I am hurting myself by being sad.”--- Murmaide
“I once compared my husband's decision between the OW and me to a decision between sleek but crippling high hells( that's her) or sensible loafers (that's me). If your husband stumbles upon the oh-so-fashionable black silk pump, here's what you do: Let him walk around a bit, enjoying the benefits pumps have yo offer. Sooner or later, we all grow up and decide not to wear shoes that make a our feet hurt. Sabotaging his for his relationship or berating him for his decision will only push him away. Let him figure out what damage he is doing on his own and give Strappy Slingback the boot on his own.”--- goggles
“I met the OW and would recommend it. Granted, it doesn't make it all okay in the end, but it gave me a sense of closure. Just make sure you are ready to meet her so that you can be strong and maintain your dignity.”---mmark68
“If you try to tell the OW what is happening, you are the only one who could lose. Say she throws him out. You may be left feeling like a consolation prize. If he ends it on his own, it will be his choices, and you won't be left feeling regret. Continue to grow, learn to be self-sufficient and strive to be the best individual you can be.”--- csb49

A World about Revenge
“Revenge never helps you can get control and always comes back to hunt you. Choose healthier ways to you express anger. Yell, talk about how you're feeling with friends, go work out, but in the end learn to let the anger go. The only acceptable revenge is to live a wonderful life.”---catherine303

Manage Your Anxiety

Each stage of the creative process is characterized by its own kind of anxiety. The hungry-mind anxiety associated with the original wish to create is different from the chaotic-mind anxiety of working, and both are different from the critical-mind anxiety and attached-mind anxiety that make it so difficult to declare a work finished. In its negative aspect anxiety blocks the writer, causes her to limit her scope or create second-rate work. In its so-to-speak positive aspect, anxiety is like the itching that companies the healing of a wound: horribly uncomfortable, but proof that creativity is happening.


There’s a basic remedy for each stage of anxiety. The remedy for each is not only doing something, but doing it appropriately:


STAGE ANXIETY SOLUTION

1. Wishing - hungry mind - appropriate feeding
2. Choosing - confused mind - appropriate clarity
3. Starting - weakened mind - appropriate strength
4. Working - chaotic mind - appropriate order
5. Completing - critical mind - appropriate appraising
6. Showing - shy mind - appropriate performing
attached mind appropriate detaching

Creative Calisthenics

By: Christine Krug

Ever had a brain attack? Thinking too much can choke out new ideas and gag your creative voice. Here are some exercises to catapult your out of the cerebral.

The Translated Poem

Locate a poem written in a language you don’t know “ Translate” the poem, surrendering to impressions and images that suggest themselves. Your creative mind will from fresh associations and zany patterns.

Primer/ Kinderspeak

Select a dull paragraph. Render it into “ Dick and Jane”, or rewrite it for a small child. Let simple language unveil fresh images.

Heretoforespeak

Take a sentence of your own and double the worlds without adding meaning. Add useless legal and academic words with multisyllables. Read, laugh and move into a free spirit. Read, laugh and move into a freer spirit.

Oogabooga

This time, take your piece and turn it into ape-man-speak. Think big, dumb, caveman. Have fun and allow ideas to emerge. You just may surprise yourself.

Hothead

Mull over pet peeves and grievances until you’re steaming. Write a nasty, hate-filled letter about what makes you most angry. When your emotions have thoroughly steam-rolled your powers of analysis, move on to other writing.

No Argument Here

Match your writing t your brain problem. Is cogitation making your writing boring? Write a page as boring as you can. Is your brain nagging you about being too sentimental? Get mushy and melodramatic. Play up the flaw that’s bugging you. Cut loose and find the loopholes.

The Speedwrite

Ste a kitchen timer for IO minutes. The only rules that you write, and keep writing, fast and furious, with out regard to sense, spelling, neatness or punctuation. If you’re stuck, start with this prompt: I know this is crazy, but….

The Alien Space

Surprise your brain into submission by writing in an unfamiliar place. Scrunch up in kitchen cupboard, sit in a tree, perch on a washing machine, or recline on a sauna bench at the health club. Drive to a railroad, waterfront or airstrip. Write from the back seat of your car.

The Grocery List

Catch inspiration where you’d least expect it. Write a poem, each line containing an item from your grocery list. Next, grab your chore list, wish list, invitation list, and honey-do list or last year’s Christmas list. Try a short story with the first sentences of each paragraph naming an item or person from the list lineup.

Oddball Hard Copy

Forget the logical white page. Write on colored paper cut into odd shapes. Covers a shoebox with wrapping paper and write on the top bottom and sides.

Common Beauty Myths

Beauty myths are often no more than old adages that are handed down to each generation. Some of these misconceptions are centuries old and just plain silly. While logic doesn't seem to play a big factor in beauty myths, they're still abundant. These common beauty myths are pure fiction and deserve to take their place in the “beauty myth hall of shame.”

• Soap is bad for skin. Older formulas contained animal fates and vegetable oils. Newer soaps are formulated to be milder and some contain moisturizers that don't dry out your skin. Clean skin is better than dirty skin.

• Antiperspirants can cause cancer. This theory makes it's round on the internet and you may find this in your inbox. There is no evidence linking antiperspirants and breast cancer.

• Shaving your legs will make your hair grow thicker. You have as many hairs as is genetically determined, regardless of whether you shave them.

• Drinking a lot of water leads to beautiful skin. While drinking water is necessary for our bodies, too much will only result in bloating and too many trips to the bathroom.

• Split ends can be repaired. The only way to get rid of split ends is to cut them off and prevent them in the future with good hair care.

• Dry skin causes wrinkles. Not true. Most wrinkles are caused from the sun.

• You can wash acne and pimples away. Scrubbing too vigorously will increase oil production and only aggravate the condition.

• The sun clears up blemishes. While the sun will temporarily dry out pimples, it interferes with healthy skin cells. This can cause a worse breakout a couple days after sun exposure.

• Stick to one brand and line of products. This beauty myth was probably put out by cosmetic manufacturers who want to keep customers loyal to their brand.

• You don't need to use sunscreen on a cloudy day.The sun's UV rays penetrate clouds and can still damage your skin.

• Natural ingredients are non allergenic. Whether it's a natural or chemical ingredients, if your allergic to it,you'll see a reaction

• Chocolate and greasy foods cause acne. No one food has been proven to cause breakout. If you find a correlation, quit eating that particular food.

• You can shrink the pores on your face. Your pore size is genetically determined. Pores may appear larger by bacteria and dead skin cell. Retin-A and alpa hydroxy are designed to break up these materials and bring the pores back to their original appearance.